"This is a Mature Report, you dont like it - dont read it"

Tornado Squadron Weekly Ramble of Crap - 6th May 2002

~CMDR's Rant~
Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones, YAY, cant wait.
Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones - The Book, *BIG SIGH*

No offense, but how stupid is it to release the book to this movie before the movie comes out, those hardcore fans are going to rush and buy the book, read it and if they dont like it not even see the movie, and the not-so-hardcore fans might read the book and not even bother with the movie.

Lucas your only taking money out of your own pocket, this was the problem with Ep I, The making of and everything came out weeks before the movie so everyone was so pumped up for it they all rushed to see it, but because everyone has such high expectations they were disapointed, and they would have been disapointed no matter what.

Your opening it up to that again, for the love of god dont release shit before EP III since thats the one everyone is waiting on the most, i know i am.

George Lucas, I give you the Finger of Shame.

~Squadron News~

Tornado: Tour of Supremacy - The Return!
As you know we are having a comp against Sword on the Relentless, so far
i have pilot files from the following people;
Myself
Sint - Excused
Jerry - Excused
Quinn - Excused
Hev
Tomaas
Arion
Rollins
Flech
Ramos
Cyrus - Excused

So it means im waiting on a plt file from Shak, be quick Shaky, time is running out.

A quick note if your re-flying it or u still have to fly it, make sure u inspect that sat or probe (whatever it is) at the end of the mission, it gives you an additional 3k, then u can blow it up, but inspect it first.

I need it by the 7th so quick smart.

Squadon of the Month!
We were named squadron of the month, damn we rock, lets win it again next month shall we :)

Run-On!
Later Today im going to write the first post to a Run-on on the Tornado Message Boards *Waits for Rast's YAY's to die down* so once you see its up feel free to post whever u want, anyone on the ship is allowd to add, so watch out for unexpected plot twists.

Many Rumors!
As Tomaas pointed out in his Flight Report, I would just like to say that any rumors concerning me having set up a Escort Service in the vacent COM's office are completly false, Anyone who wants to make sure you must first see me, give me 500 Imperial Credits, perpare for the best night of your life, & be willing to be Jedi Mind Probed for truthfullness while swearing not to reveal anything they see inside the empty office.

FCHG Race!
As reported before, CPT "Shakdaddy" Shaur won the FCHG Race with an amazing 130 FCHG Points (and several High Scores), he gets a IS-BW for it, congrats.

Monthly Awards!
The following awards have reached certain pilots
CPT Shakur --------> Bronze Star (Congrats)
CPT Master --------> Palpatine Crescent
LCM Montte --------> Palpatine Crescent (Congrats)
MAJ Hev -----------> Imperial Security Medal (Congrats)

Congrats to all.

~Squadron Orders~
Fly XWA-FREE 33 for the ToS, if you have already flown it, re-fly it for a better score remebering to inspect the sat.

Fly FREE-TIE 178 and FREE-XWA 35 for the wing comp.

IWATS - See what Life is like after IWATS

Get Boliv to get a "Master's Bitch" Tattoo, prize now stands at 500 Credits or a crate of Chalquilla.

~Wing/Battlegroup News~

Go Here ----> http://www.emperorshammer.net/reports/report.asp?wingid=10&reportid=5775

Beefy was promoted to COL, yay Beefy :)

~Fleet News~





You didnt think i cared did you :P

~From the Vault~
Hidden deep somewhere in the Challenge is a giant safe hidden from everyones eyes, inside are detailed files on the EH Command staff (and other staff) and what can be used as discriminating evidence, as well as lots of infomation and Kessler's private pic's of several cadets (YUCK). Only few know of the Vaults existance even fewer have the combination to get in, Master is lucky enough to know it, so for you heres a small snipit of info:

The REAL Reason Why Han Solo Stuck With the Rebellion

YAVIN, INT MASSASSI TEMPLE.
HAN: Listen, I ain't in this for the revolution, and I ain't in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money.
LEIA: If money is what you want, then that's what you'll get.
LEIA: One million credits enough?!
HAN: A million? Uhh.. yeah, that's fine.
LEIA: There! There's your reward. Enjoy it!
HAN: Ahh, Thanks.
LEIA: I wonder if he really cares about anything.
LUKE: I care...
HAN: Hey, wait a minute - "First National Bank of Alderaan"??!

~The Usual Suspects~
CPT "I am da Bomb" Master
5/1 Flew XWA-FREE #33 (To be re-flown for a better score)
5/1 Wrote MSE
5/5 Awarded PC
5/? Wrote on several Msg boards

LCM Sint Seelasi
Nothing
*Swats with a rolled up newspapper*

LCM Jerry
Got in contact with me

MAJ Hev Randrowan
4/30 Flew XWA-FREE #33 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Score withheld)
4/30 Wrote hints for XWA-FREE 33
5/3 Flew TIE-TC Battle #127 - Making a New SSD (90,926)
5/3 Flew TIE-TC Battle #156 - EH Wrestling Extravaganza (122,989)
5/4 Flew TIE-FREE #178 - Roll the Bones (Score withheld)
5/5 Awarded ISM
5/5 Flew TIE-TC Battle #47 - Get That Rat! (70,140)

LCM Tomaas Montte
5/1 Returned from Computer Problems
5/5 Awarded PC
5/5 Flew XWA-FREE #33 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Score withheld)
5/5 Wrote Flight 2 Report

CM Arion Sunrider
5/5 Flew XWA-FREE #33 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Score withheld)
5/5 Flew XWA-FREE #35 - Routine Patrol (Score withheld)
5/5 Completed IWATS XML (90%)

LCM Rollins
5/5 Flew XWA-FREE #33 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Score withheld)

CM William Flechette
5/4 Flew XWA-FREE #33 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Score withheld)
5/5 Flew XWA-TC Battle #25 - Ticket to Chimaera (6,588)
5/? Various Graphics Work

CPT Shakur
5/3 Flew TIE-TC Battle #104 - Spam Wars (162,075)
5/3 Flew TIE-TC Battle #105 - Treachery Aboard the Challenge (114,788)
5/3 Passed IWATS XTT (98%)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #106 - Battle in Corellia (87,133)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #107 - Farewell to Old Friends (174,859)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #109 - Eclipse the Sun (122,418)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #110 - Advanced Mag Pulse Technology (96,973)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #111 - Impossible Mission (181,538)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #112 - Super TIEs (127,408)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #113 - Raid on Casserine (82,667)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #114 - Stop the Press! (160,099)
5/4 Flew TIE-TC Battle #116 - GA Ronin vs. Rogues (91,529)
5/5 Awarded Bronze Star
5/? Various Graphics work

LT Quinn Median
Acted as #tornado 's X bot :P

COL Ramos Kanzco
5/6 Flew XWA-FREE #33 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing (Score withheld)

SL Cyrus
Went on leave

~Challenge Most Wanted~
TORNADO SQUADRON OF WING X : Strike
COMMANDER: CPT Master (capt_master@hotmail.com)
NICKNAME: DeathWind
BANNER: tornado.jpg
MOTTO: Before Glory, Loyalty...Before Pride, Honor...Before Self, the Empire.
HOMEPAGE: http://www.isdchallenge.org/tornado/index.htm
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=39


FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: The Missile Magnets
Motto: Fighter Pilots make movies... Bomber Pilots make History
1) CPT Master (capt_master@hotmail.com)
2) LCM Sint Seelasi (sints@interia.pl)
3) LCM Jerry (kaljerry@hotmail.com)
4) MAJ Hev Randrowan (deudodideudeu@gmx.net)


FLIGHT II - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Nil Satis Nici Optimum
Motto: We have fought 1000 wars and we'll fight 1000 more for we fight the good fight
1) LCM Tomaas Montte (TomaasMontte@HotPOP.com)
2) CM Arion Sunrider (arion_sunrider@yahoo.com)
3) LCM Rollins (rollinsxwa@yahoo.com)
4) CM William Flechette (i3abovethenight@aol.com)


FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: The High Priests of Love
Motto: We're the Love Commandos and this is a Raid!
1) CPT Shakur (kloc495@aol.com)
2) LT Quinn Median (Rastyn@shaw.ca)
3) COL Ramos Kanzco (Magedon42@aol.com )
4) SL Cyrus (sen_marcus@hotmail.com)

Citations: 11
FCHG Average: 303
Combat Rating Average: 8.5

~Quotes of the Week~

<-`Master-> your lucky this month, the Cantina doesnt need remodelling cause Tornado got Squadron of the month :P

-Fear our bar destruction skills

<-Reaver`-> "Dear Sir or Madam: I am applying for Challenge COM. I believe I am the best person for this person because I am better than everyone else. I am even better than you, but since your job isn't open, I can't apply for it. I can only slander you and hope that someone removes your sorry-ass sometime soon. But, that's going off topic. Challenge COM should be mine because I'm applying for it. I am the best. Give the job to me, you wanker."
<-Reaver`-> "Sincerely, Reaver."

-Reaver is talking about all the CS'ers i think cause he is right :P

* shak just talked to calli on the phone
<-shak-> she sounds sexy ;)
<-`Master-> phone sex?

-And who says we dont have one track minds :P

<-Mstr^MSE-> Rec for Shak:
Due to showing disrespect to me his CMDR on IRC countless times involving penetration of the ass with many strange things including blow up dolls and llama's, i recommend CPT Shakur be demoted to the rank of Lt and can not be promoted for another year.

-Fear Me!!!! :P

~Quote of the Week~

<-Enahropes-> Hi Astatine I am an exhibitionist and have just bought a new WebCam
<-MindB_ndr-> GET IT OUT OF MY MIND! Get it out! *smacks head against wall to loose mental image of an exhibitionist Shroom*
<-`Master-> come on, we know you really want to see "The Exibitionist" :P
<-MindB_ndr-> sounds like a very scarey movie:P
<-`Master-> lmao

~Dark Lord of the Week~

The highly prestigious title of Dark Lord of the Week is only given to the person who has most advanced the success of the Squadron, amused the CMDR, or slipped me the most £5 notes in a brown paper bag. This week's winner is:

CPT Shakur

Please dont tell him the FCHG Race is over >:P

~Ewok of the Week~
Yub Yub!

Every story has a hero, every journey has a first step, every Fleet has a pilot who's about as much use as an ashtray on a speeder bike. This weeks' Prize Ewok is none other than:

Imperial Storm 3

Dont even get me started.

Disrespectfully Submitted,
CMDR-TCS/CPT Master/Tornado/Wing X/ISD Challenge
BS/PCx2/ISMx10/MoT-1rh/IS-4BW-1PR/LoC-ISx14/DFC/CoL/CoB/LoAx2/OV [LGNR] {IWATS-AIM-CBX-FLA-GFX-ICQ-M/1/2-RT-SM/2-TM-TT-XAM-XTM-XTT}