Tempest Blown with the Wind #7 April 09, MMIX Loading IO.SYS... < Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore TBA (¿?) and last but not least TIE Corps Commander Jarek La'an >
Welcome to this, my seventh Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Tempest! The Mighty Tempest, "The Riders on the Storm". It comes obvious that you just don't know the basis on how to leave your CMDR alone, gentlemen... I was lucky of have been able to fly a single mission... ON TESTING... last week. The rest of my flying attempts were kindly frustrated by your performance. Which is exactly what you are supposed to be doing, I know but... oh, well... let's put it this way: this very report you're now reading was due on last Monday or Tuesday. Since this one was delayed chances are the next one will be delayed as well, especially considering that I'll need to take a little LoA from 04/12 to 04/15. And in the end my bet is that I'll find myself talking about your May faults next September... :-P For the time being: competitions come and go, Flight Leader goes but none comes (yet), SOO dares to tell us what to do on a new TIE Corps Pilot Manual, new FREE mission released, aaaaaaaaand.... VS. = Nuff said!! :-D
Tempest Squadron, The Riders on the Storm, the worst bunch of flying drunks the known Universe has ever seen and I have the pride to command have prevailed over Praetorian Elite Squadron and raised as winners of "Fire Demons vs. Storm Riders!", the competition/challenge where both Squadrons were engaged for the glory and the rights to be reckoned as certified NO-LIFE Beings®!! And your Wicked CMDR cannot do anything but to forward all ye, gentlemen, his most sincere congrats on your outstanding performance plus his thanks on your accomplishments on behalf of Tempest. Now *THIS* is the Squadron I've been waiting to command since I stopped playing with that Playmobil Pirate Ship™. Please keep up there your splendid activity and provide hell to whoever dares to challenge us again on months ahead; as I always say, nobody dares to challenge us and keeps being three-dimensional! >:-) The mandatory rain of IS-SWs already arrived to your inboxes, I know it because I wasted about 10 minutes of my preciousssss life including them on your ATRs. However, don't expect to see them on activity trackings of this report because such nonsenses belong to next week's one. -Delayed- is the keyword here, my bad... no wait! YOUR bad for it was your fault due to your amazing activity you slackers!!... (?) ... whatever *I* say... ¬¬ With great sorrow, a dirty handkerchief and the mandatory desire to kill someone I must announce you today that Commander Vitaru, Flight Leader of Chaos Crew, has recently sent me his official request to be transferred to the TIE Corps Reserves due to heavy RL pressures and other terrible behaviours I won't state here just in case any of you comes to be sane yet against all odds. I'll remember him as one of the best officers I've ever seen, let alone an excellent Flight Leader and friend, and I'm pretty sure many of you will do exactly the same... at least those of you whom CM Vitaru isn't indebted to for I perfectly know he fled with way too much money for a simple FL and I take you can say bye to all those credits you lent for him to buy booze. We're gonna miss you badly here, Vitaru!! Please don't forget to punish us all with your nasty verb from time to time through Wing X mailing list! ;-) For the rest of you, know that from this very moment on I'm accepting applications for Tempest Flight III Leader. What should you include on your applications? Not so important; I already know you well, face it. It would be enough to tell me what are your short/medium term plans for Chaos Crew plus the number of barrels you're ready to send over to your CMDR's office on a weekly basis. And ONLY if I don't recieve applications from any of you on next few days I shall open this spot for the rest of the Fleet; we don't want to spread insanity around, do we? (*ejem*) Ok, we do. Oh, btw, you'll notice that CM Vitaru has not been deleted from this report Squadron Roster and that his retirement is not yet stated on "Squadron Medals/Transfer/Bribes" section nor on his ATR. Why so? First, because at this very second his official retirement request has not been approved yet by the TCCOM. Second, because this report comes D-E-L-A-Y-E-D. And third, because I would have finished writing this unnecesary-extended news entry already and that's not the case until... NOW. He did it... we did whatever it was on our hands to stop him and yet he did it. Know ye all that the TIE Corps Strategic Operations Officer, Vice Admiral Viper Pred, with help from other fools like FA Dempsey, LC Zó... with help from other suspects who still need to be spotted has finally completed, released and ordered us to follow to the letter the new TIE Corps Pilot Manual. You can find it HERE or using the appropiate link at the TC database; you'll easily find it due to its intuitive name "TIE Corps Pilot Manual" you see. Not necessary to say that reading and being familiar with this unspeakable document is MANDATORY for all TIE Corps officers so I want you all downloading it and pretending to be learning something from it within the hour. I'll just kill whoever I catch hiding a bottle between the Manual and himself, provided the fact he refuses to that bottle to be confiscated by his CMDR. Fleet Admiral Dempsey, Tactical Officer of The Emperor's Hammer, strikes again on yet another attempt to spam the whole Galaxy with her crazy designs. Basically, she just cannot stop releasing stuff from that spooky (or was it 'Sinister'?) Victory-class Star Destroyer she commands and she came up with this one: XWA-FREE 144: Core Squadron: The Callen Worth a try? Of course not since the last battle/free missions you should ever fly in order to keep yerselves with that nice taste of quality mission design is TIE-TC 46 as everybody knows. But you're gonna fly it anyways, right? ;-) Not him again... -__-U Errrr... know ye all that the Polo guy won everything and that's it... *General Domi reverses LC Zósite's head with his Wing Commander's baton®* *OUCH* (:__P Ok, Sir... on my way... Know ye all that Lt. Commander Polo, Flight Leader of Heralds of Maelstrom, managed to get under his belt the two monthly Tempest titles from last March thanks to his impressive activity which makes the rest of us too look like... like... like somebody not him. In addition to that he also stole monthly Wing X titles and even SP Ace of the TIE Corps! So far: LCM Dunta Polo is hereby known as Tempest Pilot of the Month for March '09 with no less than 148! missions flown. Have our most sincere congrats on your accomplishments, Lt. Commander, but know also that if it would be for me I'd get you and... *General Domi reverses LC Zósite's head with his Wing Commander's baton® - 180º* *OUCH* ...and... and I'd use your head as... *General Domi reverses LC Zósite's head with his Wing Commander's baton® - 360º* *OUCH* BWHAHAHAHAHA!!! I did it! Last edition of "I think therefore I lose" Tempest-only competition involving little mind challenges lasted for no less than 26 minutes! ^_^ The winner of this third edition was no other than Commander John T. Clark, Tempest 2-3, who clearly demonstrated to be the person you should look for in case you are not sure on further booze distribution attempts from your deranged CMDR. ?... No, not that he would be able to fix it by any means, but he could be the perfect turkey for CMDR's point-blank shooting while you try to recover what is yours! >;-D Next goal: to extend this competition's duration up to 30 minutes. Wish me luck, my Riders, for I'm gonna need it with these brains wandering around. :-P
( Spoilers! Oh, geez... why don't you just leave your CMDR alone for a change? Spoilers... spoilers again... Ok, here I bring you yet another bitter truth. I'm pretty sure that many of you already heard our Majesty, Emperor Palpatine, was not actually killed when XO Darth Vader decided he would make a fancy addition into Death Star II reactor core after falling through more than 400 levels for fun. However, know that all you have been told about him after that very moment is not the truth. So you want the truth there, right? Ok, but later don't say I didn't warn you!:
And remember: things can change to hell for EVERYBODY as EVERYBODY can have that kind of bad day! :___| )
Don't look know, but I've already sent Tempest MSE to our Wing Commander, so you can expect more shinies to come on days ahead. No wait... *I* can expect ALL shinies to come to me on days ahead; the only thing you can actually expect is to hate me forever because I only recced stuff for myself while all your reccs were for the Letter of Achievement (LoA) and I cannot even reccomend that one. ;_P Yet another weekly Tempest website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to Colonel Zeth Durron (aka. "Cookiemonster"), original designer of Cyclone and Tempest websites layout, with the subject: "You know something, Colonel? Somebody's gonna get a CoE for such a splendid job on website designing, and you're not gonna be that person. It hurts, I know... ^_^u" And here, gentlemen, you have the current status of our 2 ongoing monthly competitions! Now that we're done with March and we managed to feed LCM Polo with his IS-BWs so he doesn't end preying on our own flesh it's time for the rest of you to give our crazy Flight II Leader a run for his money, don't you think? ;-) Tempest Pilot of the Month - April '09 LCM Dunta Polo - 22 missions (some waiting HS approval) (and Tempest Pilot of the Week on 03/30 - 04/05) Tempest Student of the Month - April '09 Ok, ok... we're just on day 8th so I cannot expect you to be making your brains to work just yet, but pleeeeease, don't make me to look for that silly Lucas Duck image again to make him my new Flight Leader or something... :-P Then again, I'll be waiting for your applications to be Tempest Flight III Leader on days ahead, gentlemen. Please consider this because it's BUT VERY IMPORTANT for Squadron day-to-day operations and the best Squadron in the Fleet will need a worthy FL up there. For the time being, please let me remind you here and now what are the requirements I'd expect to see in a *GOOD* Flight Leader:
"TAC's citation hunt"!! Errr... well, the thing is that this competition ended with no winners for no Squadron in the whole Fleet managed to get those minimum 20 citations, let alone 40 for those IS-SWs... but even then, why not keeping this little section here for you all to be well updated on how many Battle Citations we get as time passes by thanks to our commitment and refusal to do something actually constructive with our lifes like play racquetball. or wash our cars, or cook dinner, or join a funk band, or... Right now we've a total of 6 new Battle Citations since we started counting here. Not enough! Never enough!! And we keep counting, for whatever competitions may come. ;-)
II.a) Squadron Competitions Tempest Pilot of the Month - April '09 Tempest Student of the Month - April '09 II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions Wing X Pilot of the Week/Month Challenge Top Gun II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P SP Ace of the TIE Corps, April 2009 TACcy Quotes TACcy Speed Test TAC's beta testing madness DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) III.) NO!! Performances involving the infamous trio (beer-holoTV-chips) don't count for anyone but CMDR here! III.a) Transfers / Promotions / Awards / Bribes
1-1 LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 COL Daniel Bonini
2-1 LCM Dunta Polo
III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike ( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )
1-1 LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 COL Daniel Bonini
1-3 LCM Godo Nurok
1-4 COL Nav'ric Trow
2-1 LCM Dunta Polo
2-2 LC Murleen x 2
2-3 CM John T. Clark
3-1 CM Vitaru
3-2 LCM Sergeyli
3-3 CPT Alphafoxtrot1
IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)
Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Redemption or something... ¬_¬
V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. CMDR's Corner)
Let's get a little gaze on how was when Lt. CoRoneR Zósite K. Styles returned from his last little LoA. Tempest Squadron was engaged on a challenge against Praetorian Elite Squadron and he left Lt. Commander Dunta Polo, Flight Leader of Heralds on Maelstrom, as his acting-CMDR on his departure. After a few days he returned and asked LCM Polo for a little report on Squadron's activity while he was out. Basically he wanted to know about two subjects: first, if Tempest starfighters were still in one piece or Commander Vitaru finally managed to sell them all as cheap metal in order to buy himself *MORE* booze. Second, if LCM Polo followed his guidelines to manage Tempest day-to-day operations as he asked him to do. And since the first question was quickly answered when The Wicked CMDR of Tempest saw that his Flight III Leader had been "performing" under his classic Wing X Cantina table for more than a week, only the second one remains... <LC Zós> Hey, Dunta. How is it going? ^_^ <LCM Polo> Everything went as you were expecting, Sir. I can fairly say the current Squadron Status couldn't be any better. <LC Zós> Nice to hear that. But a little more detailing would make me happy if you don't mind. Le'see... what about Dan Bonini? Is he still around? <LCM Polo> Of course not. He was expelled after I found him playing his accursed guitar inside the "Astra Fighter" cockpit... with his commlink ON, go figure... we're still trying to come up with a detailed list on all 'Chal' officers who decided to pay a visit to the airlock. <LC Zós> Yeah, could have guessed that one. And what can you tell me about our newest member, Lt. Commander Nurok? <LCM Polo> Expelled as well. I just couldn't stand seeing him around and not knowing who he is. He claimed to have been no less than your Flight Leader on Cyclone Squadron but that's impossible; you see... he seemed to be sober even! <LC Zós> That's a no-go, indeed. And your friend Trow? What about the good old Colonel? Is he still trying to steal you those Tempest Pilot of the Week titles? <LCM Polo> No, Sir. I fixed that easily by expelling him after I noticed he was all an Admiral back in the day. I mean, what the hell is an Admiral doing as a demoted Colonel on an active Squadron while he could be onboard the M/FRG Phoenix drinking at Ronin's health? No doubt that he had something to hide there, and I don't like to have demoted people moving around. Whatever he did before it was not good, I'm pretty sure. <LC Zós> Splendid. And Commander John T. Clark? <LCM Polo> I booted him because... because... because he was under my FL command of course. Do I need to provide you further details? <LC Zós> Of course not. So I take you also got rid of Lt. Colonel Murleen... <LCM Polo> Oh, come on... he was my CMDR on Omicron not so long ago. Who do you think I expelled FIRST? >:D <LC Zós> A sad story to tell. But then again, what did you do with Commander Vitaru, our Flight III Leader? I'm sure he was not an easy one. Besides, I saw him laying under his Cantina table not an hour ago. <LCM Polo> I used some duct tape to attach his expulsion approval up his head so he can clearly read it as soon as he awakes. Reason: for not leaving a miserable half-pint for his aCMDR. <LC Zós> Wise approach. And what about LCM Sergeyli? Did you kill him as I told you to do? <LCM Polo> Sorry, Sir. I though it would be better for us to just expel him for keeping developing potentially dangerous blaster weapons using the 'Chal's main reactor core as his personal forge. Besides, if I would have killed him we would be in trouble if he ever decides to resucitate all of a sudden. I mean... he's from that spooky place dessignated 'Mother Russia' on that G0d-forgotten planet far from here... Palpatine knows what his evil arts could be! <LC Zós> Bah, I don't bow to superstitions... finally, is Captain Alphafoxtrot1 still around? <LCM Polo> No unless he managed to repair his Missile Boat's flight controls. I used the rest of my duct tape to bind them to the life support system and then I set up new hyper coordinates for he to have some fun trying to find his way back from Yuuzan Vong space. >:) <LC Zós> Splendid, Lt. Commander Polo! Good work! You didn't disappoint me there and now I'll have the best chance to finish up our competition against Praetorian, as I planned. ^_^ <LCM Polo> Y-your best chance, Sir? What about me? For I pretend to help you there as necessary, you know. <LC Zós> Yes, I know, I know... I know you're hereby expelled from Tempest Squadron, Lt. Commander. <LCM Polo> Expelled?!!! But... but... WHY?!! :______D I did exactly what you asked me to do! <LC Zós> That's the main problem; you left the Riders on the Storm almost empty! Everybody else expelled or lost! How did you dare you brat?! You shall be court-marshalled for destroying what was maybe the best unit in the Fleet all alone. And now begone before I also decide to put you on charge of disobeying a superior officer! >:F <LCM Polo> ... As Lt. Commander Polo abandons the office, CMDR Zósite sits in front of the computer terminal and starts writing a report addressed to Colonel Frodo March, CMDR of Praetorian Elite Squadron.
VI. Anyone get the number of that donkey cart??? (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings) (Combat Ratings not yet implemented into the new database so it's not that they might be wrong. They WILL BE wrong.) Imperator [IMPR] (6000 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points) [6029] & [509] LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles Centurion [CNTR] (2000 points) & Officer 4th (30 points) [2044] & [39] COL Daniel Bonini Aquilifer [AQFR] (500 points) & No rank (0 points) [672] & [0] CPT Alphafoxtrot1 Legionnaire [LGNR] (400 points) & Trainee (1 point) [433] & [1] COL Nav'ric Trow Paladin [PLDN] (300 points) & No rank (0 points) [342] & [0] LCM Dunta Polo Knight [KNGT] (250 points) & No rank (0 points) [255] & [0] LC Murleen Gallant [GALL] (200 points) & No rank (0 points) [201] & [0] LCM Godo Nurok Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & Trainee (1 point) [173] & [0] LCM Sergeyli Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & Officer 4th (30 points) [98] & [32] CM Vitaru VII.) Operation [R]ound and Pound (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations) W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!... TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep Strike FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...
TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep Strike FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED FLIGHT III - MISSILE BOAT MK.I Squadron Citations: 29
TIE-TC 1: Capture of Zaarin Respectfully NUTS in service: --- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow --- CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/LC Zosite Konstyte Styles/Tempest/Wing X/ISDII Challenge "There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."
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