Tempest Blown with the Wind #5 March 16, MMIX Loading IO.SYS... < Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore TBA (¿?) and last but not least TIE Corps Commander Jarek La'an >
Welcome to this, my fifth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Tempest! The Mighty Tempest, "The Riders on the Storm". Oh, good L0rd... what a week!! On weeks like this I really feel proud to be able to doom on you as your CMDR, gentlemen! A new Rider among us, who was one of my first FLs on Cyclone even! Colonel Trow and Lt. Commander Polo on fraticide rage flying their arses off for the sakes of our mighty Squadron (they'll tell you they're actually doing so for shinies and further bragging, but please disregard their silly humility for we all know they actually fly for US. >:-J). A new Squadron-level competition I pulled out to undermine your nerves and... finally... (*drumroll*) Not again you... ~ ¬¬ (*drumroll*) Ok, that's it. >:F Praetorian vs. Tempest !! VS. Further information below, at the "Squadron News" section. Hope you're ready for this, my friends. And as for you and your drums... hope you're ready for THIS! Ahhhh, much better... ^_^
Sometimes, one of those crazy people from the M/FRG Phoenix (famous TIE Corps anthropologists from the Fleet Medical Corps refer to them as... "Reservists") decides to return to active duty all of a sudden. Yeah, true story... even worse! Sometimes their name comes to be Godo Nurok (although it only happened once AFAIK), and that can only mean we have back, among us on Wing X, one of the best and most dedicated Flight Leaders I've ever seen. Sounds horrible, isn't it? Please provide your most warm welcome to Lt. Commander Godo Nurok, now assigned as Tempest 1-3 among the Storm Knights, for I'm pretty sure he'll become one of our best assets before you can even realize how <CoC CENSORED> crazy he can be; I mean... he's one of those, you now... guys in robes who call themselves "brothers" ¬¬ This fact along with the one that says he's not a green Lieutenant coming from other ship but an actual former 'Chal' officer can perfectly mean lightsaber enema for whoever dares to try to pay the welcome party 'alci' with HIS money. Godo: play him safe! ;-D "Your patience is MINE!" And if it's not yet it will be as soon as you're done with this WSR. Because no, I wouldn't be as many other CMDRs and keep myself quiet and sit waiting for your pilotfiles with an idiotic expression on my face. Nooooo! I had to make you to do stuff... Please accept my most sarcastic apologies, gentlemen, but we're here to kick arse and nothing else. In order to demonstrate me that you've something running through your pilot veins beyond pure Chalquilla, you're hereby called to fly... TIE-FREE 277: Folly: The Endless Struggle And please don't waste your precious time telling me it's the most horrible mission you've ever flown because I already *KNOW* that. Well, wait, I know it could be for ye, because it features the plain TIE Fighter as player's craft and that's obviously the best starfighter EVER; everybody knows that your deranged CMDR is just in l0ve with it! >:-D Anyways, fly the thing before next Saturday 28th and you can have a nice IS-BW if you are so damned mad as to survive long enough. Beat your CMDR's score (find it below at the "Ongoing Competitions" section) and you'll get another one no matter if you win or not. And fly caaaaaaaaarefully there, because if some bandit renders your shiny T/F into a fancy cloud of spacedust you'll be captured by a bunch of moisture-farmers and unslaved forever to paint their stupid starfighters in all sorts of sissy colours! And you'll need to either restore your pilot and fly the mission again or remain sissy forever... *OUCH* Ummm... it's curious... I've been told that someone around here has now the rights to wear THIS thing on his uniform: But it must be false. Who on earth (or Galaxy for that matter) would wear such a kitsch and tacky thing on his uniform? :_P You know, I'm starting to fall in love with "TACcy Speed Test" competition. Not because I won the last edition (ok, maybe for that too >:-J) but more because it was our old friend Colonel Dan who won the first edition and only other two names could have been seen on this competition entries at TAC reports: those of Commanders Vitaru and John T. Clark. Well, that means either our esteemed Lady TACcy made her comp. Tempest-only or that we are so damned good that nobody else would dare to participate on any event if we're already there. And hell! Both possibilities seem quite interesting to me. ^_^ Excellent work, gentlemen, truly impressive! Now I only miss a few more Tempest names there. :-D ... ?... People from other Squadrons? WHAT other Squadrons? Yes, I've been told that this Fleet has more than just two (being the mighty Tornado the other one, of course!) but I took it as a convenient legend for you to have something to compete against. ;-) TARARIIIII-TURIIII-TURIIIII-TURIIIII!!!! <--- because I made something horrible to the drums dude, you know) *All Tempest pilots have been called to gather into the battlefield. The Riders on the Storm, all them holding their duty lances pointing to a grey stormy sky, listen to their CMDR's words while Lt. CoRoneR Zósite K. Styles walks from here to there pretending to have a horse below him (to ride, dammit... oh, wait! 0__o)* <LC Zós> Sons of The Challenge, I AM Zós "THE NUTS"! And I see a whole army of my Squadron comrades here in defiance of pretended eliteness. You have come to fight as drunk men, and drunk men you are. What would you do without booze? Will you fight? <COL Trow> Fight? Against *THEM*? No, we will slack; and we will drink. <LC Zós> Aye, fight and you may stay sober (although I hardly doubt it). Drink and you'll be slacking -- at least a while. And slacking in your M/FRG Phoenix quarters many months from now, wouldn't you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that day for one chance, JUST ONE CHANCE to come back here and tell those Praes that they may take our booze time, but they'll never take... OUR VICTORY! <Tempest - {Zós}> W00000000000000T!!!!! YEAH!!! >.-D <LC Zós> May the winds blow till they have waken'd death!!!!!!!!!!!
From Thursday, March 19th to Sunday, April 5th. No more no less. IS-BW for all pilots on winner Squadron. Additional IS-BW for highest scores on each platform regardless of Squadron. And the glory... "FIRE DEMONS vs. STORM RIDERS"! Do I need to say more? ^_^ ( Spoilers! Everybody knows that in order to withstand the highest levels of activity coming from being a Tempest pilot, having one of the best starfighters in the known Galaxy, a full Imperial II-class Star Destroyer to support it and the 1337 flying skills of a worthy Rider is not enough. We also need some hellish instrument, fruit of Devil's most terrible plot ever to subjugate the Universe... we need... a COMPUTER (ph33r!!!!11111) Well, know that Lt. Commander Sergeyli, our esteemed Tempest 3-2 comrade, has been kind enough to provide me a pic of his own COMPUTER (ph33r!!!!11111) and the advanced measures of cooling he uses to keep it safe from blowing up. Coming from pure high-end technology, never surpassed, not even by the curvature-engine nor the hyperspace travel nor the truth behind M-theory, here I introduce you:
So if you ever notice his Missile Boat MK.I exploding into a myriad of tiny insignificant pieces at least you'll know what's going on... xD )
Ummm... maybe I should inform you that Commander Vitaru, Flight Leader of our "Chaos Crew" departed on approved LoA last Thursday and will be gone until... TODAY. Ok, maybe it wasn't that necessary. ;-P Thanks anyway, Captain Alphafoxtrot, for having sent me your FM report in time for me to know about your current status. Shame on you, LCM Sergeyli, for you seem unable to send over a $&$6~#¬ report but you rather prefer to send me pics of your patented Cooling System®. >:F Yet another weekly Tempest website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to High Admiral Rapier, Security Officer, with the subject: "High Admiral, Sir: See, I'm currently working on an essay about the 'Hyperspace Wars' and the Ancient Sith Empire for the IWATS Academy, and I was wondering if you would provide me some especific details from those times. Coming from your own experience if possible for the sakes of trustworthiness." And here, gentlemen, you have the current status of our 2 ongoing monthly competitions! That's much better than last week, but then again, not enough... I'd appreciate some more pilotfiles trying to flood my inbox, people! Besides, seems that none of you has taken a single IWATS Course yet. Yeeeeeees, I know that anything beyond gripping a joystick beats you but, come on... why do you think those PROFs whose duty is to correct your exams would be different? ;-D Tempest Pilot of the Month - March '09 LCM Dunta Polo - 70 missions Tempest Student of the Month - March '09 Another week with no IWATS coming from YOU and I recruit HIM I tell you!! >.D Ummm... it seems you're gonna need some clue on MY score (laserless, of course) for "Your patience is MINE!" competition in order to know what are you supposed to beat for one of those nice IS-BWs, right? Ok, ok, but later don't tell me I didn't warn you...
"TAC's citation hunt"!! This is pure epic, let alone your chance of getting a nice IS-SW or even IS-GW for yerselves! Get up to 20 NEW Battle Citations for The Riders on the Storm for the silver thingie or up to 40 no less for the goldie one. You know the mechanics, gentlemen: Go HERE, find what battles are we closer to get the citation (we're 9 pilots so we're gonna need a minimum of 6 having flown any given battle) and... you know... FLY THEM!!! I'm counting on you and your commitment to Tempest Squadron for this one! :-D Right now we've a total of 3 new Battle Citations for March. Not enough! NOT ENOUGH!! >:-P
II.a) Squadron Competitions Tempest Pilot of the Month - March '09 Tempest Student of the Month - March '09 Your patience is MINE! Fire Demons vs. Storm Riders! II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions Wing X Pilot of the Week/Month Challenge Top Gun II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P SP Ace of the TIE Corps, March 2009 TACcy Quotes TACcy Speed Test TAC's beta testing madness The TAC's citation hunt DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) 10 years of XWA - Time to Celebrate (Multiplayer!!) III.) NO!! Performances involving the infamous trio (beer-holoTV-chips) don't count for anyone but CMDR here! III.a) Transfers / Promotions / Awards / Bribes
1-1 LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 COL Daniel Bonini
1-3 LCM Godo Nurok
2-1 LCM Dunta Polo
2-3 CM John T. Clark
III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike ( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )
1-1 LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 COL Daniel Bonini
1-3 LCM Godo Nurok
1-4 COL Nav'ric Trow
2-1 LCM Dunta Polo
2-2 LC Murleen
2-3 CM John T. Clark
3-1 CM Vitaru
3-2 LCM Sergeyli
3-3 CPT Alphafoxtrot1
IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)
Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Redemption or something... ¬_¬
V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. CMDR's Corner)
Today is indeed a great day for Wing X onboard the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge, for one of its old members who has been retired from active duty for more than one year and a half has returned to submit his best efforts and commitment in the name of his old ship once again. Today the Flagship of the TIE Corps welcomes back Lt. Commander Godo Nurok, old Cyclone Flight Leader, now reassigned among the ranks of The Riders on the Storm as one of the Storm Knights, Tempest 1-3. Because... against all odds... once in a while one of those Reservists suddenly decides to prove false all that is widely known and accepted about common sense you see... So, after having been welcomed by his CMDR and old Squadron mate, Zósite K. Styles (last time they were seen together there was an empty barrel involved and someone from maintenance whining about his arm having been severed with a corkscrew by one of these two pilots after the guy asked him to keep the place clean if possible), LCM Nurok left his luggage at his new quarters (obviously nobody told him about ship security yet) and met Colonel Domi for the Wing X Commander to welcome him as well, while explaining him the new structure of his old Wing and other relevant facts from the time he spent on all sorts of unhealthy behaviours onboard the M/FRG Phoenix. Now Flight Member and Wing Commander wander the Chal corridors on one of those typical day-cycles while the ship patrols the borders of Emperor's Hammer territory. <COL Domi> And as I was telling you, Lt. Commander, you'll see soon that many things around have gone through some notable changes. Look, there you have the old Cyclone Squadron Quarters that I'm sure you remember well... Alas, they have been closed since the whole Wing was restructured two months ago and nobody has entered there since then. Yeah, it's sad, but I'm sure you understand that we... In that very moment the automatic main doors to Cyclone quarters are blown up in a big-fat explosion from INSIDE and Major Palermo appears in the smoke coming from the -supposedly- closed quarters carrying a couple of old "Chalquilla" bottles. COL Domi and LCM Nurok weren't affected by the explosion though and are now in front of the Major who stops in front of his WC. <COL Domi> ...And... here I introduce you to Major Giovanni Palermo, CMDR of Tornado Squadron... >.-| <LC Nurok> D-delighted to make your acquaintance, Major. ^_^u <MAJ Palermo> A pleasure indeed. Always a pleasure. And now please pardon me but I'm very busy and... <COL Domi> Yes, you are; right now you are explaining me what the hell is going on here and what's the reason behind you coming from an officially closed ship section in such a loud and funny way. ~>:F <MAJ Palermo> Ehh... you see... actually I was... errm... trying to capture a Rebel spy who managed to access 'Clone quarters to... steal. And... and he was going to flee so I had no choice but to execute him before he could pass that door and fool me on the corridors. <COL Domi> That doesn't explain how on earth did you manage to access there without permission yet. <MAJ Palermo> Ummm... well... we both came from... ahhh... the garbage collector tunnel, that's it. ^_^u <COL Domi> And now is when you tell me what were you doing at the garbage collector... Major... <MAJ Palermo> Well, I was... collecting garbage of course, for my upcoming submission to "The Dark Sentinel". ^_^U <COL Domi> And what about those bottles? <MAJ Palermo> Confiscated from that spy, Sir. That's what he was trying to steal. <COL Domi> But they have the word "Zósite's" on their labels, and I'm a little bit confused on why a Rebel spy would try to steal such things, let alone the question on how did he manage to enter the ship... <MAJ Palermo> Strange, isn't it? That Rebel scum... and about the labels, well... it's obvious these come from the old Cyclone CMDR's stash. You know Zós, Sir, he would inscribe his name along 40 decks of Death Star's surface if he would think he had something to do with its construction. <COL Domi> Begone from my sight you. NOW!! ~ >.F <MAJ Palermo> Yessir! A pleasure, Lt. Commander Nurok! Major Palermo disappears on the corridor still holding the bottles and muttering something like "And thinking that the madman said he moved ALL his stash when he was reassigned. Hehehehe... I always knew that with so much material involved a few ones were left behind for sure... >:)" And it's time for us to keep following COL Domi and LCM Godo on their wandering; now they have just arrived at engineering. <COL Domi> Here it is! I'd like to explain you a couple of technical details about the new reactor core I ordered to install to replace the old one (completely screwed after one final explosion that almost blew up the ship along with the reactor itself), and especially about the security measures we have taken for it to never fail again. <LCM Nurok> Quite interesting, Sir. That thing was always scaring the crap out of me whenever someone coughed. :-P But then they notice they're not alone there. Commander Vitaru, Tempest Flight III Leader, and Lt. Commander Sergeyli, one of his Flight Members, are arguing about something near the core titanium sarcophagus and its lethal blue ray of pure fusion energy. <CM Vitaru> NO AND NO, Lt. Commander!! I won't let you to keep wandering the ship with *that* thing as your personal weapon no matter what! <LCM Sergeyli> But if it's only an innocent blaster cannon I modified myself and... <CM Vitaru> I'll tell you what it is: it's DANGEROUS! Dangerous for the ship, dangerous for yourself, dangerous for everybody else! You have your BlasTech DHL-17 and that should be more than enough! <LCM Sergeyli> But you don't understand, Sir; it's almost a piece of pure art in its design due to... <CM Vitaru> ORLY? Look what I do with your piece of pure art!!! >:( Commander Vitaru pulls the insanely powerful thing out of LCM Sergeyli's hands and throws it... into the reactor core sarcophagus! <COL Domi> 0______0!!! <LCM Nurok> (:____________D Both officers mantain silence for about a minute, ready to meet G0d before dinner time. But it seems the cannon was vaporized by core's energy with no further (visible) consequences... What follows involves COL Domi picking Tempest Flight Leader and Flight Member from the neck and throwing them into latrines cleaning duty 'till General Compton gets demoted, but we'll leave such fascinating tale for a better moment. Now we have a couple of still trembling officers arriving at the Wing X Cantina. <LCM Nurok> Ahhhh... home, sweet home. ^_^ <COL Domi> As long as you do your job well that's what it will be I tell you! Our ever-growing amounts of chalquilla and beer, not to mention what remains of old Collie brew, are now stored on deck #12 after having been brewed at Zós' """Secret""" Destillery and we use it as a mean to improve crew morale as we always... Suddenly two TIE ADVANCEDS!!! pierce one of the walls and enter the Wing Cantina. COL Domi and LCM Nurok jump behind the bar for cover but the two fighters stop engines right there. Lt. Commander Dunta Polo, Tempest Flight II Leader, emerges from the cockpit of one of the fighters while Commander John T. Clark appears from the bowels of the other one. Wing X WC and our friend Godo raise their heads from behind the bar. <LCM Polo> Oh, you're there, Colonel Sir. My apologies but we were in our way to the Hangar and... <CM Clark> With all due respect, Lt. Commander, but I told you this wasn't the right way. :-P <COL Domi> BUT! BUT! What on the ninth circle of the deepest hell are you doing HERE with your TIEs?!!! Didn't you come *FROM* the Hangar?!!! <LCM Polo> Well, yes, but... ok, I'll tell you the truth: it seems that Colonel Trow from the Storm Knights is nowadays struggling trying to outfly The Heralds of Maelstrom all alone and... and we cannot allow such glimpse of vanity from anybody out of our own Flight! Therefore, I suggested my 2 FMs to do a little detour for COL Trow to not notice that we were going to launch. <CM Clark> What reminds me that Lt. Colonel Murleen must be also wandering the ship on his own TIE for he assured us that he perfectly knew the right way to the Hangar and it wasn't this one. ^_^u <COL Domi> Demented... disturbed... brainsickos! I'm among brainsickos!!! ~~ >.-G Then again, another nasty scene with Wing X Commander reassigning Tempest Flight II in full to shield generators cleaning duty... from outside the hull... and wearing their duty briefs only. Not funny I tell you; you cannot imagine the amount of vicious mynocks you can find out there. And finally, COL Domi and LCM Nurok end their little tour on the ISDII Challenge command bridge, where they find... Lt. Colonel Zósite K. Styles on the commanding chair, holding a silly joystick of sorts while Colonel Daniel Bonini tries to strangle him. <COL Dan> My turn!!! Now it's MY turn and we agreed on that 3 minutes ago! Sorry, Zós, but I'm gonna make you to realize how painful can it be to lie a former Flight Officer!! >:_D------ <COL Domi> What's going on here you two? ¬¬ <COL Dan & LC Zós> Sir!! <COL Domi> I asked you what's going on here. <LC Zós> Hey, Godo! =) <COL Dan> The madman you gave Tempest CMDRship is a dirty liar. That's what! <LC Zós> No way you greedy vulture! Well, Sir, I was just working on a training idea I've been considering for some time. See, I ordered (on your behalf *ejem*) the ship to hyperspace to another sector in order to provide us the appropiate field for such a training exercise. And before arrival I made all ISD flight controls to be diverted to this little joystick you see here. <COL Domi> What the!!! And what's that brightly planet I see right in front of us? <LC Zós> Coruscant, Sir. At 15 clicks. ^_^U <COL Domi> ~o__0U~ <LC Zós> Yeah, and now I'm using this joystick to play some turbolaser dodging against a couple of MC-90 Cruisers from its denfense external perimeter. But don't worry, Sir, for I've ordered Captain Alphafoxtrot to patrol out there on his Missile Boat and obliterate any opposition as necessary. ;-) <CPT Alphafoxtrot (through COMM)> Tsk, what a mishap! I've just run out of missiles and rockets. Changing to laser cannon now. <COL Dan> And it's MY turn! <LC Zós> Not yet!!!! <COL Domi> NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOooooooo..... But there's Lt. Commander Godo Nurok patting poor Wing X Commander on the back. <LCM Nurok> Calm down, Sir. See? You told me there have been many changes since I requested my retirement so long ago, but hey! Here I am again and I find everything exactly as it always was. ;-) VI. Anyone get the number of that donkey cart??? (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings) (Combat Ratings not yet implemented into the new database so it's not that they might be wrong. They WILL BE wrong.) Imperator [IMPR] (6000 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points) [6022] & [509] LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles Centurion [CNTR] (2000 points) & Officer 4th (30 points) [2030] & [39] COL Daniel Bonini Aquilifer [AQFR] (500 points) & No rank (0 points) [688] & [0] CPT Alphafoxtrot1 Legionnaire [LGNR] (400 points) & Trainee (1 point) [421] & [1] COL Nav'ric Trow Knight [KNGT] (250 points) & No rank (0 points) [255] & [0] LC Murleen Gallant [GALL] (200 points) & No rank (0 points) [227] & [0] LCM Dunta Polo Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & Trainee (1 point) [196] & [0] LCM Godo Nurok Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & Officer 4th (30 points) [98] & [32] CM Vitaru VII.) Operation [R]ound and Pound (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations) W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!... TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep Strike FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...
TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep Strike FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED FLIGHT III - MISSILE BOAT MK.I Squadron Citations: (further details will only come after actual battles are detailed on Squadron Roster at TC database, sorry) Respectfully NUTS in service: --- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow --- CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/LC Zosite Konstyte Styles/Tempest/Wing X/ISDII Challenge "There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."
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