Prized Podium Defaced
The famous podium of Colonel Gilbert H. Frown, Wing Commander of Wing II aboard the ISDII Warrior, has been maliciously defaced by an unknown anarchist.
Enemies of order and discipline have been accused of damaging the podium of the Warrior's famed Wing Commander. The rare, antique podium, only recently restored after having been lightly chewed by the Wing II mascot, was recently found defaced with a mysterious phrase and crudely drawn image of some form of reptile.
COL Frown reports that he had been diligently gathering evidence of illiteracy amongst the pilots of his Wing, leaving his podium briefly unattended. Upon his return, he discovered the front of the podium had been defaced.
In a communique directed toward his pilots, COL Frown announced, "A number of communications have been directed towards my office door and the surrounding bulkhead. While their intent is despicable, I'm more concerned by the abject standard of grammar and written Aurabesh. Thankfully, I've been able to enrol you all on a fleet literacy programme that should only take 4 hours of every evening for the next 2 weeks. Attendance is mandatory, so no excuses."
Following this vital pronouncement, COL Frown returned to his briefing station, only to find this fresh evidence of rampant illiteracy and indiscipline amongst the pilots of Wing II.
Despite the damage, the Wing Commander believes that his time spent routing out illiteracy was well spent and that the evidence he has gathered will prove most useful. "I look forward to using these records against you all in due course - particularly the fiend who has desecrated my briefing podium with a crude drawing of a winged reptile and the words 'kiper hyps'," said Frown.
The Commodore of the Warrior, Admiral Plif, had this to say about the incident: "It took the maintenance crew a while to find the right materials to repair the old podium, so I'm disappointed that someone did something ridiculous like drawing on it. Oh, it was to antagonize Frown? Haha, well done gents."