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Loading IO.SYS... < Salute, proud members of The Emperor's Hammer TIE Corps! > Welcome to this, my first report as Strategic Operations Officer of the TIE Corps. Definitely, when all a TIE Corps Commander decides to bestow upon me the responsabilities of all a Strategic Operations Officer you kinda KNOW all is FUBAR. No matter, for I promise you I'll do my very best in behalf of you all while also struggling for his high ranking arse to be the one to blame whenever I happen to fail. And trust me when I say that under my guidance you'll come to discover completely new meanings of the word FAIL. First of all, you may notice this one comes to look almost an exact copy of past Tempest Squadron reports. Don't panic! The main reason behind it is because they're just dirty rapings of such reports where I removed some coloured text and other fancies like custom logos, images and other nasties I don't have time to care about anymore. And actual HTML code sucks badly as expected coming from a dirty WYSIWYG. And if anybody here happens to have any complaints about it I'll be eager to not give a damn, thanks. OK, let's go ahead full speed, shall we? Once upon a TIE Corps Commander office... High Admiral Daniel Bonini, TIE Corps Commander has just recieved an incoming message through his commlink. Using from whatever is left of his dignity after having forgot the word 'sober' for about 3 days in a row, he drops his last 'Chalquilla' bottle and opens the message trying to read through the mists of booze. Sir, this is Rear Admiral Zósite Kónstyte Styles submitting his very first report as your Strategic Operations Officer. Please find below whatever is to be known on the current status of the Fleet, then please send it over through our net after your personal review for our pilots to be properly informed: <HA Dan> ... ahhh... hummm... sure, La'an, go ahead... ZZZZZZzzzzzzz.....
Several pilots are currently doing their best to devaluate Legions of Combat by flying sheer amounts of multiplayer matches using our newest approved MP game platform, Star Conflict, while others keep themselves active on the SP side and still withstanding the truly awesome sub-par quality of the very first TIE-TC battles on our Mission Compendium, headed by the amazing CMDR duo, Colonels Elwood (congrats again on your recent promotion, but you wouldn't think I'd ever call you 'The Brave', do you?) and Dempsey. At the same time I must say participation on squadron and fleet-level competitions has been splendid as of late, or so says the crazy amount of Iron Star awards notifications (hopelessly) waiting review on my SOO inbox. On this particular Gamma and Delta squadron take the lead with that newbie/Lieutenant powerhouse that is Beta closely following; yeah, pilots within the ranks of Death's Gambit are doing their best to make their CMDR, (promoted TODAY, deserved, congrats, congrats, blahblahblah) Major Kroan, happy while giving the old farts a run for their credits at the same time. FLs happy, CMDR happy, Admiralty happy, TCCOM drunk (and happy). And what about those numbers? All squadrons except Gamma (some dofus left the squadron all of a sudden to join the Admiralty or so I heard) remain now at 10 pilots no less!! [ALERT. LAST MINUTE INSERT: Commander Repulsor found himself within the deepest corners of vacuum and asked to be reassigned to my old spot so... 10 pilots per unit!! Unbelievable!! 0__o] If we continue at this rate we'll be able to either reopen Lambda squadron soon, or even better, to split this bedlam in 2 different Wings!! In this last case some sort of a poll would be run for both current active roster membership and reservists willing to return to active duty to decide the Wing/Ship to bring back from oblivion. Just you wait for the TCCOM to finish up sending over those 3,000+ e-mails... :-P What else? What else? Ummm... oh, yes! Know that our happy-TACcy lady, High Admiral Anahorn Dempsey, while still suffering from the same medical condition of Vice Admiral Schueler on their EH-TC dissociative identity disorder, has managed to review and improve no other than our beloved TIE-TC 1: Capture of Zaarin battle on both its encrypted (EHBL) and unencrypted versions; go there and enjoy how we used to do things back in 1995, then wonder how on the known Galaxy did we manage to be here! With all due respect to COL Shawshank, for it's true that back then 'TIE Fighter: Enemies of the Empire' wasn't released yet and the available mission creation tools were resembling a Van der Graaf generator... With all that been said, know that it's my plan to soon unveil my Squadron-level task assignments project® (must remember to give it a new name which doesn't sound as coming from a lobotomy, btw) which will involve a completely new way to award merit medals and further improve our pilots' activity and interest on many things beyond the usual flying. However, details will need to be discussed with the TCCOM and COO in weeks to come before you can even hope to hear more about this. I'd also deal with the DEAN on this subject, but that would involve me talking to myself... AGAIN. Stay tuned for further misinformation and SOO vapor-projects!
Ace of the TIE Corps, Jan 2014 MP Ace of the TIE Corps, Jan 2014 Star Conflict's Beacon Hunt
III.) WHERE are those bribes? I'm running low on gin!! (aka. Medal Awards)
The Commendation of Bravery
General Devin (loooong overdue)
Medal of Tactics - red hammer General Devin (creation of TIE-TC 50, loooooooooooooong overdue)
Iron Star with Bronze Wings Colonel Elwood the Brave x 3 (1st place on 'Gamma on Patrol' on its TIE/XvT/XWA divisions)
Iron Star with Silver Ribbon Major John T. Clark (ONE THOUSAND points on 'Delta's Weekly Trivia')
Iron Star with Bronze Ribbon
Lieutenant Starkillerny x 2 (1st place on 'Gamma Trivia' and 'Gamma PotM Jan 2014')
Legion of Combat
Lieutenant Starkillerny x 72 (SC '24/7 LoCs')
Medal of Communication - platinum oak cluster
Colonel Exar Kit (Dec 2013 MoC award)
Medal of Communication - silver oak cluster Lieutenant Len Eode (Dec 2013 MoC award)
Medal of Communication - bronze oak cluster
Major Valic (Dec 2013 MoC award)
IV.) Full Metal Jacket (aka. New Uniforms)
V.) Sometimes I climb alive people (aka. Kill Board & Squadron Citation standings)
But I'm digressing yet again... back to topic! In third place for the SP Kill Board, there we have Lt. Colonel Gyssler, the most active pilot from Epsilon Squadron, closely followed by Colonel Mark Schueler from Gamma. If so they want they could still delight us with a bloody mayhem for those IS-SW and IS-BW at the end of the month, and I look forward to it. ^_^ The Multiplayer Kill Board on the other hand looks like WAR as can be seen HERE. Splendid! Outstanding!! That's exactly what makes the Combat Operations Officer and myself happy and motivates us to fetch some popcorn and wait for our war G0ds to recognize those who love them the most. There's no way to tell who will get first place there, really, for either LT Starkillerny, LC Zoron, MAJ Tuba (from Reserves... yeah ¬¬) or COL Kerrigan could take the lead at any moment, though is LT Starkillerny and his mania of flooding our Combat Center with a sithload of LoC notifications who is leading right now, closely followed by LC Zoron. Which makes me sad is not seeing a single XvT/XWA match there when it's bloody OBVIOUS they're far better l33t game platforms than Star Conflict... *sigh* And if you can picture me as being sad don't get me started on how funny Colonel Brucmack, our current Top Gun and only Tan, will look if he returns only to see we managed to steal the crown from him in less than a year of pure Star Conflict flying... And what about Squadron Battle Citations? You can see current standings HE... errr... no, wait, I was going to implement those standings at Squadron Battleboads but I needed to drop it for the SOO role; we'll see if I can finish that up during next week. Dan's fault, obviously. However, if you're still interested yet not in the mood of getting the dust off your calculus manuals, I'll tell you that Epsilon Squadron comes first here with 51 citations our of 648 thanks to its bunch of returning old farts like General Dax Corrin with almost the entire Compendium under his belt, closely followed with 24 citations by Delta Squadron and its deranged and absolutely hopeless CMDR, Colonel Dempsey, who is under Executive Office investigation for having been using her Tactical Officer's portfolio to create battles TO FLY 'EM HERSELF, go figure!!
VI.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. SOO's Corner)
High Admiral Daniel Bonini, TIE Corps Commander, gets an incoming call by his recently appointed Strategic Operations Officer. Now a little bit sober (we call that "underperformance" btw) after having been reading bollocks for what it seemed like HOURS to him, he manages to find the button to answer the call. <HA Dan> ... errr... WHAT?! ~>:P <RA Zós> Sir, it's me, the Strategic Operations Officer. <HA Dan> Ah, hello La'an. <RA Zós> Your OTHER Strategic Operations Officer... <HA Dan> Sure, La'an, what is it? <RA Zós> *sigh* Ok, Sir, so you're sober again and ready to doom. Well, it's just that I'd like to know if you reviewed and sent over my first report already. <HA Dan> Of course, Zós, your report is now released for my whole poor Fleet to suffer. Morevoer, I was the funny bastard who also decided to send it to the M/FRG Phoenix net, so those lucky farts can endure at least a silly percentage of the true pain I have to withstand on my day-to-day work with you as my executive officer. <RA Zós> Nice! And... hmmm... it's about time already... <HA Dan> About time? For what? <RA Zós> High Admiral, Sir, please look right below your command chair and you'll find a very special present I left there for you this morning while you were snor... *ahem* doing your work. And feel free to open the crate with the access code I'm gonna provide you. Or don't open it, it doesn't matter really. <HA Dan> Ah, the crate, yes. Well, when I noticed you were as cretin as to forget giving me the opening access code beforehand, I ordered a courier to bring it back to you. Right now it must be awaiting you in one of your desk drawers, where that lieutenant said he left it. <RA Zós> ...in... one of my... (:__| <HA Dan> Yeah, in one of your desk drawers. Are you deaf or what? <RA Zós> ... :_____D ... sith... <HA Dan> Zós? :-P <RA Zós>
Respectfully NUTS in service:
--- (at-your) REAR Admiral Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow --- SOO-TCS/RA Zósite Kónstyte Styles/TC-2/ISDII Hammer
"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."
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