<SALUTE>

At last, my time has arrived! The COM is away and has left me in charge of the ISDII Hammer. Things around here are going to be run differently, I'll tell you that.

But first, there's some other news to share from around the fleet. Nothing as interesting as my rise to power, of course, but you all should still be aware of what's happening in those other "units".

Fleet Admiral Pellaeon, the SOO, was awarded the Grand Order of the Emperor. I hear he's a cool guy, for an admiral. But us line officers are out here on the front, making the day to day operations run smoothly. I can only imagine that it'll only take a few weeks to earn my own GOE, once they recognize my greatness.

The pilots on the Warrior received a bunch of merit medals as well, preposterous as that may sound. Surely that's the result of sub-standard record keeping or an unnatural generosity when the recommendations were processed. None of that is happening on the Hammer, certainly.

I looked up "cola" and found that it's some sort of beverage, which makes this Cola Wars nonsense even more detestable than the first time I heard about it. Alas, flaying participants is off the table. However, I can assure you all that anyone making submissions to this drivel will be punished by the strongest means I have available. As usual, you can read more about all the active competitions from the Competitions Center on the database.

Our own GN Golbez Harvey was the only participant in this week's TIE Corps on Patrol and was awarded three competition medals. I can only assume that shooting fish in a barrel is among his other hobbies.

CPT Silvius took home no less than five awards from this week's TIE Corps Versus AI. But not all of them were from first-place finishes, three different admirals placed higher in several categories. None of the admirals I've ever seen could outfly a pig, so losing to an admiral is one of those things most officers never live down.

GN Coranel Both won some kind of itch scratching competition from the TAC, which is another sign of how low our standards have fallen in recent years. I hope he's proud of himself.

And with that, I have to call it a night. It's everything I can do just to be able to stand up here, looking down at your slack-jawed expressions as your attention slips away while I'm trying to impart my vast knowledge and experience. We'll try again next week when I can summon the strength to make another attempt to get through to you.


A-COM-WC/MAJ Narven Task/Wing I/ISDII Hammer